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 Tobimaru Kishin

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Tobimaru Kishin

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PostSubject: Tobimaru Kishin   Thu May 13, 2010 2:43 pm

Shinigami Registration

Name:
Tobimaru Kishin
Alias/Nicknames: Racoon Angel of Death



Rank:
Captain


Age:
{567 }
Visual Age: 22



Appearance:
Tobimaru is 5’6 and weighs around 11 stones; He has blue eyes and white-eye brows. He has a special blue Eastern type dragon tattooed on both arms. He also wears a black finger less glove on his right hand that represents where he comes from. He has black hair with white colour in the middle that resembles the hair pattern on raccoons. He wears his dual zanpaktou on his back and has a blue symbol crest on the chest of his robe. Tobimaru is short for his age appearance and is sometimes mistaken for a younger teenager.
/b]


Gender:
Male


Personality:
Tobimaru is often referred to as the angel of death as he always kills his opponents in a heavenly way. Before he battle his opponent he usually prays before drawing his sword against his opponent. After he finish battle his opponent he also pray after slaying them so that their body can rest in peace. He is considered as a very religious shinigami, which is looked at weird by his squad members. Tobimaru is fearleass and likes taking risk in anything he does even if it’s sacrificing other people. He is a neat freak and dislikes when his clothes gets ripped or dirtied. He has an evil aura around him and sometimes has problem controlling his urges. The reason for this is unclear but he usually prays in order to control his urges to kill. It is said that a beast his caged inside him. But others have said that when a beast is caged for too long it will eventually break free. In this case Tobimaur does his every day ritual in order to clam himself down.

Tobimaru has never been able to understand human feelings and has never smiled once in his life. Even as a small boy he was never seen smiling. He sees the world different from others and has quoted that “ having emotion makes one weak even towards his weakest opponent they will use it against you”. But Tobimaru only shows the only emotion that every other shinigami has shown which is anger. He however understands that emotion but doesn’t use it in his daily life.


Division:5TH


--------------------

Hair Color:
White and black hair resembles a raccoon hair.


Likes:
my char doesn’t have any emotion so these are lies)
Women
Power
Money
Sake
Cake
Being neat and clean
Experimenting



Dislikes:

Crushes:


--------------------

Specialties:

History:
Growing up in Rukongai wasn’t an easy life for Tobimaru as he was picked on, beating and abused as a small boy. He was a broken boy at a young age but who would have thought that someone like him would have a purpose in the Gotei13. Tobimaru did not have any family or a name for himself. During his time in Rukongai Tobimaru didn’t know the meaning of life and didn’t have anyone to guide him in the right path. He was often seen near the market areas has he tried to aid his way in order to get food. Most of the other villagers would pick on him and beat him up so badly that he was near death. That all would change when he met someone by the name of Asura Kishin. Asura was a kind a warm welcoming person who saw Tobimaru as a broken boy. Asura took Tobimaru under his wings and showed him how to survive on the streets of Rukngai. Asura then later gave Tobimaru his name since he now had a purpose. Asura was very religious and he shared his believes with Tobimaru. During the years of living on the streets Asura and Tobimaru made a title for themselves and was feared by most of the villagers. Tobimaru didn’t understand why Asura choused him as a friend and didn’t understand the meaning of friendship. Asura notice that Tobimaru emotions were always there but found out that he had a lot of angry. Each night Tobimaru personality would go on a rampage as he was engulfed in hatred. Asura saw this and became fearful of Tobimaru when he felt his over powerful reatisu that surpassed his. As Asura and Tobimaru became older they started to demonstrate the spirit energy. Asura however knew how to control it more than Tobimaru, which caused problem between them both. Tobimaru always thought that Asura was much more stronger than him due to the fact he was able to control his spirit energy. Asura however knew the truth on Tobimaru and kept it as a secret in order to avoid him been out of control. Asura was more interested in using his spirit energy in helping people while Tobimaru was more interesting in using it to kill those who were bad towards weaker people. This even tore the two best friends further apart and it caused Tobimaru to dispise his friend Asura. Asura feared Tobimaru to the point where he decided it was best that the two parted.
Eventually the two parted their different ways and then Tobimaru was left on his word once more. During the years Tobimaru found another companion but this time it was a female who he had fell in love with him. Because of his personality Tobimaru did not understand what love was and kept drifting further from her. Her name was Lizz a short blond hair female that had blue eyes. She fell in love with Tobimaru passion and strength but did not know about his darkness. Until one night when they were both being chased by bandits. Tobimaru made it his duty to protect Lizz with his life but didn’t know that it was the last time that he was going to hold onto her hand. One by one Tobimaru tried fighting off each of them but was over powered by their numbers. At this point Tobimaru closed his eyes and waited for death. One of the Bandit decided to perice his chest with his sword but was stopped by Lizz as she stood in rage of the sword. Blood gushed on Tobimaru face as he saw his female companion life being taken from him. Tobimaru wanted his life to taken away and asked for his life to end here. That was stopped as a strange man in a masked rescued Tobimaru as he knocked out the bandit that was standing in front of Tobimaru. The stranger told Tobimaru his time was not yet and he had a purpose in this world. Hearing those words made Tobimaru realized that it was his long friend Asura. But he knocked out Tobimaru and he was never seen again doing his time in the poor district. This caused him to drift further into darkness but that was for a short time until he was recruited in the academy. Tobimaru saw this as a chance to redeem him self and seek the light instead. Tobimaru decided since this was a new change for him he might as well seek the same religious believes Asura shared with him. Tobimaru didn’t focus on what happened to Asura but focused on his future, which involved in becoming one of the most powerful shinigami of the Gotei 13. During his academy years Tobimaru showed his skills when it came down to analyzing his situation and observing his opponent. He was a fast thinker and always found other way in defeating his opponent. He liked experimenting and shows tremendous skills in this area. During his time at the academy it wasn’t easy at times. Since he had couple out burst with other students. He would then have trouble controlling his angry but seek prayer in claming himself down. He always read on new information on soul society and try understanding their laws and ways. He was skill in swordsman ship which he then later developed a further skill in handling duel swords. He also trained in kidou, flash steps and some Hakudo but was well skilled in his duel katana. The time was closing in on Tobimaru as his time towards the academy was coming to a short. After he graduated Tobimaru found himself in the 6th Division where he would meet his new captain and squad members. He however develop his skill in training for his bankai and hoping to gain the Captain position on day.



Picture of Character:



Sample Chapter:
A loud explosion could be heard beyond the hills in front of a short black and white hair shinigami. His hairstyle had a werid look towards it as it resembled a raccoon creature of some sorts. He had a blue tattoo on both hands and a duel zanpaktou on his back, it was weird at first as the explosion went off. The short shinigami made his way towards the area. He ran at full speed as he jumped from tree to tree as the breeze pushed against his body. He observed his environment carefully just in case there were any traps in the area. Sudenly he could see blood around him and fallen shinigami members layed on the ground with their chest opened. The emotionless Shinigami looked around the area and took out his twin Zanpaktou. He could feel his opponent was near as his reaitus was dancing in the air. Suddenly screams could be heard as it came from the left area just 30 centimeters over the hill. The nameless shinigami made his way towards the screams as another shinigami layed still. She was wounded from her wait down as one of her legs was badly severed. The white and black hair raccoon shinigami looked over the dustance as he spotted his opponent. It was a 15-foot Hollow that had eight limbs, which had a disgusting reatius feeling. The shinigami then looked down towards the female shingami as the last breath escaped from her mouth. “it looks like I was too late to save these comrade but I’ll make sure that you get punish today. I am Tobimaru Kishin and today I shall be the one judging your fate” said Tobimaru as he held onto both his zanpaktou and placed his right foot forward. Suddenly the Hollow heard the shinigami and looked towards his direction. Suddenly the huge Hollow charged at Tobimaru with full speed as he fired multiple spikes toward him. With his quick reaction Tobimaru used his zanpatou to block the incoming attacks. Tobimaru quickly pushed his body off as he appeared infront of the hollow and made two slashes towards his lower body area. At first Tobmaru thought that his opponent was down but he was wrong. As the hollow wounds weren’t deep enough. “so it seems that you have a very hard skin, no matter I shall but more force in my attacks”said Tobimaru as he turned around and looked towards the Hollow. “Charging I head on once more how dull of you to do so now you will die my just one slash”said Tobimaru as he used his shunpo and appeared on the Hollow left and attempted to cut him in off but then disappeared again and sliced him from the head downwards. Blood from the hollow gushed out as it was raining. Tobimaru landed on his feet behind the hollow as it fell in two halves. Tobimaru turned as he saw his opponent fallen in just two moves. The shinigami of the 12 division looked onto the scene as he began to pray for those who had fallen.



[/i]


Last edited by Tobimaru Kishin on Thu May 13, 2010 4:20 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Rommel

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PostSubject: Re: Tobimaru Kishin   Thu May 13, 2010 3:16 pm

He has a special blue dragon tattoo on both arms. He also wears a black glove on his right hand that represent where he comes from.

What does the dragon tattoo look like. Is it like a Chinese dragon or medieval dragon? Does it have any unique features? "Represent" should have an s on the end. Also, what kind of glove is it? Is it a fingerless glove? Also, sense you are applying for a captain position if you could add a few more sentences here that would be great. Possibly, describing his physic and such.

Tobimaru is often referred to as the angel of death as he always kills his opponents in a heavenly way. He is considered as a very religious shinigami, which is often looked at weird towards his squad members. Tobimaru has never been able to understand human feelings and has never smile once in his life. He sees the world different from others and has quoted that “ having emotion makes one weak even towards his weakest opponent they will use it against you”.. Tobimaru is the type to think ahead of his opponent and tries to out smart them whenever he is engage in battle.

In the first sentence you mention how he kills his opponents in a "heavenly way" but what is this heavenly way. Does he say a prayer before he kills you or a ritual? In the second sentence putting "looked at as weird by his squad members" would make more sense. In the third sentence you say smile when you should say smiled.In the next sentence you should say he has been quoted as saying "Blah, blah, blah." At the end you mention that he can think ahead of his opponents but you have never even mentioned that before. If you want to put it could you elaborate more on it please. Also, if you could separate the one paragraph into two to make it easier to read. The first could be about his anger and how he controls it using religion whilst, the second could be about other personality traits.

If you could fix these things that would be great. And I will edit this post as soon as possible so I can get to your history.
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Tobimaru Kishin

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PostSubject: Re: Tobimaru Kishin   Thu May 13, 2010 4:21 pm

Updated
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Rommel

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PostSubject: Re: Tobimaru Kishin   Thu May 13, 2010 5:50 pm

My only criticism is to elaborate on the spot in your history between when Asura knocks Tobimaru out and joining the academy is hard to read and a little confusing. Also, it would help if you ran this through a word processor that would be greatly appreciated but you are still able to read it with them so you don't need to. Once all of this is fixed you are APPROVED as a shinigami not as a captain for that you need to ask the Captain Commander.
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The Hunter

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PostSubject: Re: Tobimaru Kishin   Sat May 15, 2010 4:03 am

Rommel, I think you left out that I'm the freakin' 5th division captain, so that's out of the question.
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Rommel

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PostSubject: Re: Tobimaru Kishin   Sat May 15, 2010 11:55 am

If you look above to my post you will see I approved him as a normal shinigami not as the Captain of the 5th Division.
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