HomePortalFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in

Please be sure to sit out there, all you guests, and not log in. Oh, do lurk. We enjoy the lack of activity. It's so wonderful for the forum. Thank you soooo much for your dedication. Welcome to Bleach Online. We currently have lots of Elite spots open for the Quincy, Humans, Hollow, Zanpakutou Spirits. Plus Lieutenant, Fracciōn, and Vice-Elite spots open for all races. Don't be shy, and come on down and register.

The site is currently going through a Revamp. So certain things will slow down, such as application responses. However, once we have our revamp over, the site will return to its familiar luster. Just hold with us for a moment as we implement new rules and features to the site. This Revamp is expected to begin on 5/1/10 and shall conclude on 5/20/10. It will take a full ten days at least for the first half to conclude on account of size of staff and school.
http://souls-unleashed.forumotion.co/ Join, Join, Join. Better, active and everything you want!
Log in
Username:
Password:
Log in automatically: 
:: I forgot my password
Latest topics
» The would you? Could you? Game.
Thu Dec 10, 2015 8:47 pm by harrisonson

» Come and find one piece treasure
Sun Oct 25, 2015 9:29 pm by ardenz

» A free Browser game based on manga
Fri Oct 09, 2015 10:19 pm by ardenz

» 3D ARPG Game-GOW
Wed Sep 23, 2015 1:14 am by abbeytai

» Amazing Bleach Online
Tue Jul 28, 2015 4:10 am by ivanwilliam

» DBZ GAME
Wed Jul 08, 2015 8:32 pm by athenahatt

» bleach online
Thu Jul 02, 2015 3:13 am by adalxjing

» I support
Tue May 06, 2014 9:56 am by Tokujoro Seizen Το Κτήνος

» Arrancar Information
Tue May 06, 2014 9:55 am by Tokujoro Seizen Το Κτήνος

Top posting users this month
Who is online?
In total there are 5 users online :: 0 Registered, 0 Hidden and 5 Guests

None

Most users ever online was 108 on Sat Mar 22, 2014 4:24 pm

Share | 
 

 The Croc

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Tsuneo

avatar

Posts : 113
Points : 80
Join date : 2010-03-19
Age : 24

PostSubject: The Croc   Sat May 15, 2010 10:11 am



Name: Agua Profunda

Release Phrase: rise from the depths and take their existences, Agua Profunda

Represent: Crocodile

Element: Water

Sealed Description: A large bowie knife that has a chipped and jagged blade. Overall length is around 18 inches, give or take a few. The knife is kept in a sheath strapped to his shoulder. The length of the blade is around 10-12 inches, and the rest is the handle. The handle is made out of the jaw bone of a crocodile. And the jagged edge of the blood stained steel blade almost make out to be a representation of teeth.

Released Description: The mask fragments on his face grow outward and lengthen until they represent the jaws of a crocodile, then the rest of his skull morphs to represent the creature. As well as this the rest of his body, to a point. He is covered in scales made of a hard black and green substance which is similar to emerald and onyx in appearance but has the hardness of diamonds. A tail protrudes from his rear, in addition his fingers and toes grow and sharpen themselves into razor-like claws. While all of this is happening his entire body is growing in overall size until he would match that of a fully grown prehistoric croc(about 30-40 feet long from snout to tail).

Ultimate Ability/Attack: by surfacing for a moment and opening his mouth, Tsu has the ability to release a toxic cloud of fog. This fog attacks the cardiovascular and nervous systems. Causing a severe pain in the blood streams and heart and making things like sight and reaction less than they normally are. Sight is reduced the point that in the center of the cloud blindness is so bad that not only is blindness in effect but the toxins from the fog start to do damage to the eyes, breaking them down and using the matter to create more toxins. Reaction time is slowed by the vapor of the cloud entering into the body, they make their way into the blood stream and then onto the brain to cause chemical imbalances, the same methods are used to bypass the brain and head straight for the heart. Attacking the heart with these vapors can cause a pain sensation similar to a heart attack but it reality it does little but make the person feel terrible pain. This cloud is a thick white color and nearly impossible to see through, though it is infused with his spiritual pressure so he can get a general idea of where his opponent is but they would sense him everywhere in the surrounding area, unable to make a pinpoint location on where he is. People are able to repel the fog so that they are untouched by it themselves by exerting an extremely high amount of spiritual energy but they are not able to simply blow it away.

Innate Ability: pantano de las tripas: A large amount of murky water(enough to fill an average swamp, so several thousand gallons) infused with spiritual energy bursts forth from Tsu’s mouth that spreads out and covers the area which he is currently standing in. This water is what could be considered unclean in most places around the world but normally is referenced to as swamp water because of its total brown coloration. Due to this coloring it would take someone having the ability to close their eyes and still look out in order to even have a chance navigating through this filth so being pulled in or jumping in and going under water is almost like a blindness effect but not entirely. The water has a definite scent that would make it easy for anyone splashed with it a simple to track and if it is ingested then like normal swamp water you have the chance of becoming ill, though that in itself is not part of the ability. To move around in this water Tsu has a type of sonar that he makes by detecting other pressures in the water that are mixed in with his own.



NameEffect Duration Cool Down
estrellarse onda Several powerful waves(up to three) emerge from the swamp(each wave can be anywhere fromo 10 to 30 feet tall) and are under Tsuneo’s control. These waves vary in size and have multiple uses, like being thrust in a direction for a slam attack or even a quick transport for himself.4 turns 6 turns
crecimiento gigante Tsu grows in size until he has nearly triple in overall length, that would be about 100-120 feet. In addition to size strength is raised to a proportional level. 5 turns 6 turns
Agua Gemelas a perfect clone of Tsu is created from the water around him and is under his control to do with it as he wishes. If the clone is destroyed before the time runs out then the tech ends early. These clones have all the powers Tsu normally has but not as up to scale with the power of the original, they are slightly easier to kill then the original Tsu in the idea that they are under his control so they are unable to think for themselves and certain things like reaction time is decreased to a certain degree. 5 turns 7 turns



Techniques:
Rules in making Techs:
0-119 points: 3 techs
120-239: 4 techs
240-359: 5 techs
360-479: 6 techs.... and so on and so fourth... you can add more techs as your points go up.


Last edited by Tsuneo on Sat May 15, 2010 11:36 pm; edited 5 times in total
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Rommel

avatar

Posts : 50
Points : 30
Join date : 2010-03-13

PostSubject: Re: The Croc   Sat May 15, 2010 1:45 pm

Your sealed description needs to be longer. Maybe, put in how long each part of your blade is or what your handle is made out of? For your release description what is your tail made out of and what are the scales made out of?

The five turn and you're dead ability seems a little too strong. The fog alone is powerful but with the instant death in five turns is overpowered. ALso, when you say it makes sight and reaction less then they normally are, how so? You'll have to list everything that it weakens and to what amount. For your innate ability you have to specify how much water you spit out because everyone's definition of "large" is different.

For the second put the cooldown up to four posts.

For the first technique you have to somehow specify how powerful they are for the same reason as your innate ability. Also, the duration and cooldown seem too much for me. If you could make the duration one post maybe two cause they are waves so they would dissipate quickly.

For the third technique put the cooldown up to seven posts and make it so if the clone dies the technique is over. Also, please state how you would go about destroying the clone; for example is it destroyed the same as a person could be or is it easier to destroy? Personally, I believe you should make it easier then you to destroy because it is a clone.

If you change these things I believe I can then approve you.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Tsuneo

avatar

Posts : 113
Points : 80
Join date : 2010-03-19
Age : 24

PostSubject: Re: The Croc   Sat May 15, 2010 3:11 pm

edits made
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Rommel

avatar

Posts : 50
Points : 30
Join date : 2010-03-13

PostSubject: Re: The Croc   Sat May 15, 2010 5:20 pm

APPROVED
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: The Croc   

Back to top Go down
 
The Croc
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Bleach Online :: Other :: Recycle Bin :: Registration :: Zanpakutō Creation :: Resurrección Creation-
Jump to:  
Forumotion.com | © phpBB | Free forum support | Contact | Report an abuse | Free forum